Let me walk you through something that’s both surprising and oddly fitting for how things seem to run these days in Washington.
So, remember Edward Coristine? You might know him better by his online “nickname”—“Big Balls.” He’s just 19, a high school grad with a few months under his belt at Elon Musk’s Neuralink, and somehow ended up working inside government thanks to Musk’s pet project: the Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE. Well, Coristine just made headlines again—but not for leaving government. For coming right back.
According to the Social Security Administration (SSA), Coristine joined this week as a special government employee. Officially, he’ll be helping improve the SSA’s website and digital services. But what really caught attention? He had literally just quit a few days earlier. One official told WIRED he resigned on Monday—and was back on the government payroll before the week ended.
People at SSA headquarters in Woodlawn, Maryland, even saw him in person. One SSA staffer described him as looking “nervous, almost embarrassed,” especially when spotted with Aram Moghaddassi, a current DOGE engineer also connected to Musk’s Neuralink and X (formerly Twitter). The two were seen in the cafeteria, with Aram reportedly pointing to Coristine and saying on a phone call, “Yes, I’m with him right now.”
Now, just to be clear, this isn’t a typical government hire. Before this, Coristine was brought on as a full-time federal employee at the General Services Administration (GSA) on May 30. But that didn’t last long. His GSA email was deactivated, and his name was scrubbed from the DOGE payroll. The GSA hasn’t responded to any inquiries about his departure.
And it’s not like he was some seasoned civil servant. Coristine’s tech credentials are mostly self-taught or informal. Aside from Neuralink, he’s best known for founding Tesla.Sexy LLC (yes, that’s real) and working briefly at a shady startup that reportedly fired him for leaking information. Before that? Just a teenager with big dreams—and a bigger online persona.
This revolving-door saga raises a lot of questions. Like, why is a 19-year-old with no prior experience jumping between federal agencies at lightning speed? Why did he resign—and then return so fast to a different department? One legal expert called it “abnormal,” but honestly, it seems to be par for the course in an administration that’s increasingly staffed by Elon Musk loyalists.
And what about the DOGE team itself? According to former member Sahil Lavingia, the only real glue holding them together was Musk himself. He described one DOGE meeting with Musk where the only White House official present was Katie Miller, who now works for Musk, too.
It’s a strange new world of governance, where flashy loyalty and internet fame seem to matter more than resumes or clear processes. And Coristine, aka Big Balls, might just be the poster child for how chaotic and Musk-driven government appointments have become.
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